A restraining order (also called a protective order or order of protection) is a court order telling an abuser to stop contact or stay away. You request one at your local court; many areas grant an emergency or temporary order quickly, followed by a hearing for a longer-term one. A domestic-violence advocate can walk you through it for free, and you usually don't need a lawyer to file. (Names and rules vary by location; this is general info, not legal advice.)
The two kinds you'll hear about
Emergency / temporary (often called an EPO or TRO): granted fast — sometimes same-day — to protect you right now; lasts a short time.
Final / long-term: granted after a court hearing where both sides can be heard; lasts months to years.
How to get one (general steps)
Contact a local DV advocate or the court clerk — they'll point you to the right forms (free).
Fill out the petition: describe specific incidents with dates. (Your documentation makes this much easier.)
Request a temporary order to cover you until the hearing.
The abuser is served — usually by the court or sheriff, not by you.
Attend the hearing; bring your evidence and any witnesses.
What an order can include
No contact (in person, by phone, text, email, or through others)
A stay-away distance from your home, work, or school
Order the abuser to move out of a shared home
Temporary custody and child-support arrangements
Surrender of firearms
If the order is violated
Call 911 — violating a protective order is a crime. Keep documenting every violation (date, time, what happened); that record supports enforcement and any future hearings.
Usually no — most areas let you file on your own, and free domestic-violence advocates or court self-help centers will help you complete the paperwork. A lawyer can help for contested or complex cases (e.g., custody).
How much does it cost?
In many places filing for a domestic-violence protective order is free, and fees are often waived. An advocate can tell you what applies where you live.
Will a restraining order actually keep me safe?
It's a powerful tool and makes violations a crime, but it's a piece of paper, not a guarantee. Keep your safety plan active alongside it. If the abuser has threatened to kill you, has weapons, or has strangled you before, tell an advocate — those are signs of especially high risk.
Can I get one if I'm undocumented?
Yes — protective orders are generally available regardless of immigration status, and advocates can help you safely. There are also specific immigration protections for survivors; an advocate or immigration attorney can explain them.