Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

How to document abuse (for court or a protective order)

Documentation turns “he said / she said” into a record. Keep a dated log of incidents, save messages and photos, and store copies somewhere the abuser can't reach. You don't need a lawyer to start — keep it factual, organized, and private. (This is general information, not legal advice; a local advocate or attorney can tell you exactly what your court needs.)

Why documentation matters

Abuse — especially emotional abuse and coercive control — thrives on deniability. A consistent, dated record is what lets a judge, lawyer, or advocate see the pattern instead of isolated moments. It also helps *you* trust your own memory when gaslighting has made you doubt it.

What to record

Date, time, and place of each incident
What happened, in plain factual language; what was said, in quotes where you can
Photos of any injuries or damage — with timestamps; retake over days as bruises develop
Screenshots of threatening or controlling texts, emails, voicemails, and co-parenting-app messages
Names of anyone who saw or heard it; any police report numbers
Records of financial control, missed access to money, or sabotage

Keep it factual

Courts trust records that are specific, dated, and consistent. Write what happened, not how you felt about it (“He blocked the door for 20 minutes,” not “He was a monster”). Facts are harder to dismiss.

Store it safely

Not on a shared phone, computer, or family cloud the abuser can open.
Email copies to a private account or a trusted person, or use a private, password-protected space.
Unmasked's Evidence file keeps timestamped entries privately and exports a clean PDF you can hand a lawyer.

Keep reading

Common questions

Is a screenshot enough?

Screenshots help, but a pattern is stronger than any single item: a dated log plus messages, photos, and witnesses together. Keep originals where you can (don't delete the source texts), and back everything up somewhere safe.

Can I record conversations as evidence?

It depends where you live — some places allow one-party consent, others require all parties to consent, and illegally recorded audio can be thrown out or even get you in trouble. Check your local law or ask an advocate/attorney before recording.

Do I need a lawyer to document abuse?

No — you can start today on your own. A lawyer or a free domestic-violence advocate can then tell you what your specific court or protective-order process needs.

Related guides

All guides · Unmasked