Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

Love bombing explained

Love bombing is an overwhelming flood of attention, affection, and commitment early in a relationship — constant contact, lavish praise, talk of soulmates and forever within weeks. It feels wonderful, which is the point: it builds attachment and obligation fast, before you've had time to see who the person really is. The test isn't the intensity — it's what happens when you ask for space.

What love bombing looks like

Constant contact from day one — good-morning texts, all-day messaging, hurt feelings if you don't reply fast.
“I've never felt like this about anyone.” “Where have you been all my life?” — within the first weeks.
Future-faking: talk of moving in, marriage, babies, or trips long before you really know each other.
Extravagant gifts or gestures that feel slightly out of scale with how long you've been together.
“You're nothing like my ex — you're the only one who understands me.”
Pressure to be exclusive, meet family, or merge lives at a pace that makes your friends raise their eyebrows.

Real love takes its time, because it's learning who you are. Love bombing is in a hurry, because it isn't.

Why it works

Love bombing lands hardest on warm, openhearted people — especially anyone starved of affection by a difficult childhood or a previous bad relationship. Being adored feels like finally being seen. Neurochemically, the rush is real. And once you've absorbed all that intensity, you feel indebted: how do you ask for space from someone who calls you their soulmate?

The turn: from pedestal to eggshells

Not every intense romance is abuse. The signature of love bombing is what comes next: devaluation. The person who couldn't get enough of you starts finding you disappointing. The texts that felt romantic become monitoring. The jealousy that seemed flattering becomes control. Many survivors describe the same whiplash — one week you're perfect, the next you can't do anything right — and then spend years trying to earn back the person from the beginning. That person was a strategy, not a self.

The one test that cuts through it

Ask for a little space, and watch what happens. Say you want to slow down, keep your Friday night with friends, or take a weekend to yourself. A genuinely loving person may feel disappointed, but they'll respect it. A love bomber punishes it — with sulking, guilt (“I guess you don't feel the same way”), rage, or a sudden cold withdrawal designed to make you chase. Healthy love can tolerate your boundaries. Manufactured love can't.

If you think it's happening to you

Slow the pace on purpose. You don't need a reason beyond “this is the speed I'm comfortable with.”
Keep your own life running — friends, hobbies, money, plans. Isolation is where the next phase begins.
Notice how disagreement lands. Early rage, sulking, or guilt-tripping over small boundaries is data.
Ask someone outside the bubble. The intensity distorts your judgment; a trusted friend can see the pace clearly.
Trust discomfort. If the compliments feel like pressure, that feeling is information, not ingratitude.

Keep reading

Common questions

Is every intense romance love bombing?

No. Some genuine relationships start fast and stay healthy. The difference shows over time: real love respects your boundaries, keeps its promises, and doesn't flip into criticism and control once you're attached. Love bombing punishes space and is followed by devaluation.

Can someone love bomb without meaning to?

Yes — some people flood a new partner out of anxiety or loneliness rather than strategy. Intent matters less than response: a person who can hear “please slow down” and respect it is very different from one who punishes you for asking.

Why do I miss the love bombing phase so much after everything that came later?

Because it was engineered to be unforgettable, and because intermittent reinforcement — bliss followed by cruelty followed by glimpses of bliss — creates the strongest attachment there is. Missing the beginning doesn't mean the relationship was good. It means the hook worked.

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