Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

Personality disorder — what it means

A long-term pattern of how a person thinks, feels, and relates to others that causes them or those around them real, repeating harm. Not a bad week — a way of moving through the world that's been stable since early adulthood.

What it looks like

Your partner has had explosive fights, dramatic breakups, and intense identity shifts since they were 19. Every job, every friendship, every romance has the same shape. That "pattern across every part of life" is what a clinician is listening for when they evaluate for a personality disorder.

Guides on this

Is my partner's behavior BPD — or abuse?
BPD splitting, explained

Related terms

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Comorbidity
Dark triad
Alternative Model for Personality Disorders (AMPD)
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
Anxious-preoccupied attachment

All terms · Guides · Questions & answers · Unmasked