Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

Why do I miss someone who treated me badly?

Because you're not missing the abuse — you're missing the person from the good phases, the future they promised, and the intensity your nervous system was trained on. Trauma bonds run on intermittent reward, so withdrawal from a harmful relationship can physically ache. Missing them is a symptom of the conditioning, not evidence you belong together.

What you're actually grieving

The idealization-phase person — who was a strategy, not a baseline.
The future they kept promising and re-promising.
The relief moments after conflict, which your body coded as love.
The years you invested — grief for those is legitimate and real.

What helps

Let the grief be grief without letting it write the story: 'I miss them AND they hurt me' can both be true. Re-read your own record on the hard nights. The ache fades on a body schedule, not a logic schedule — weeks and months, not arguments with yourself.

Why do I miss someone who treated me badly?

What you're actually grieving

What helps

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