Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

What is hoovering after no contact?

Hoovering — named for the vacuum — is the attempt to suck you back into a relationship after distance or a breakup: sudden apologies, nostalgia, manufactured emergencies, gifts, or messages through other people. It usually spikes right when you're getting stronger. A hoover is a test of the exit, not proof of change.

Common hoovers

The apology that finally sounds perfect — with a request attached.
Nostalgia bombs: 'remember when…', old songs, photos.
Crises only you can help with — illness, emotional collapse, 'I might do something.'
Practical excuses — your things, paperwork, the kids, 'just closure.'
Contact through friends or family when direct routes are blocked.

What to do

Decide your response policy before it happens, while you're calm. If safety is a concern (threats of self-harm are used as leverage), you can alert someone close to them or emergency services — help arriving doesn't have to be you returning.

What is hoovering after no contact?

Common hoovers

What to do

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