Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

What is DARVO?

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. When confronted, the person denies what happened, attacks you for raising it, then flips the roles so they become the wounded party and you the aggressor. It's why you so often end up apologizing for being hurt. Naming DARVO helps you recognize the reversal instead of getting pulled into defending yourself.

The three moves

Deny: 'That never happened / you're overreacting.'
Attack: 'How dare you accuse me — you're the problem.'
Reverse Victim & Offender: 'After everything I do, you treat me like this.'

Why it's effective

DARVO hijacks your empathy. Within minutes you're comforting the person who hurt you and doubting whether you had a right to be upset at all.

Staying anchored

You can decline the reversal: 'I'm not going to argue about whether it happened. This is the behavior, and this is what I need.' You don't have to win the debate to keep your boundary.

What is DARVO?

The three moves

Why it's effective

Staying anchored

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