Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

How do I know if my mother is a narcissist?

No checklist can diagnose anyone — only a clinician can, by evaluating the person directly. But common patterns in a narcissistic mother include love that's conditional on your performance, competing with or undermining you, rewriting events so she's never at fault, guilt used as control, and an inability to truly apologize. If you constantly manage her moods and leave interactions doubting your own memory, that pattern is worth taking seriously.

Patterns people describe

Her approval depends on what you do for her, not who you are.
Your achievements become about her; your struggles are an inconvenience.
Conversations leave you confused about what actually happened.
Apologies never really come, or arrive wrapped in blame.
You learned to read her mood before you let yourself relax.

Why certainty is hard

If you grew up inside it, this dynamic feels normal — which is exactly why it's hard to name. You don't need a diagnosis to take your own experience seriously. The goal isn't to label her; it's to understand the pattern well enough to protect your own wellbeing.

A gentle next step

Putting language to what you lived with is how the fog starts to lift. If it resonates and you want support, a trauma-informed therapist can help you make sense of your specific situation.

How do I know if my mother is a narcissist?

Patterns people describe

Why certainty is hard

A gentle next step

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