The resources that actually help after narcissistic abuse — crisis lines, clinical sources, legal help, therapist directories, and documentation tools, grouped by the situation you're in. Crisis support first; our own tools are labelled.
There is no single best resource. What helps depends on where you are: in danger tonight, trying to understand years of something you never had words for, or rebuilding afterwards. These are grouped by which of those you are in.
In immediate danger? In the US call 911. For domestic violence support 24/7 call 1-800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org. For any crisis, call or text 988.
Who made this page. Unmasked built and maintains it, and some entries are our own tools — each is marked "ours". Nothing is ranked or scored, nobody paid to be included, and the crisis lines come first because that is the right order.
Start here. These are staffed, confidential, and free.
24/7 confidential support by phone, chat, or text. Safety planning with a trained advocate, and referrals to local shelters and legal help. Best for: Immediate danger, or working out whether it is safe to leave.
Call or text 988 in the US for 24/7 crisis counselling. Best for: Thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or acute crisis of any kind.
The National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673) with online chat. Best for: Sexual violence within or outside a relationship.
Plain-language legal information on restraining orders, custody, and divorce, organised state by state. Free and open to everyone regardless of gender. Best for: Understanding your legal options before you speak to a lawyer.
Clinical and educational sources for the patterns and the diagnoses behind them.
The US federal mental-health institute's overview of personality disorders, diagnosis, and treatment. Best for: A neutral, authoritative starting point that is not selling anything.
Patient-facing material from the body that publishes the DSM-5-TR — the manual clinicians actually diagnose from. Best for: Checking what a diagnosis does and does not mean.
A long-running volunteer-run reference and forum for family members and partners of people with personality disorders. FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. Best for: Naming specific behaviours when you don't yet have vocabulary for them.
Over 400 terms from this world defined in plain language — gaslighting, DARVO, hoovering, trauma bonding, grey rock — each written to be understood on a bad day. Best for: Looking up a term you just heard and need defined without clinical jargon.
Peer support matters, and it is not a substitute for professional help.
Free, structured education programmes for families of people with BPD, plus clinician directories. Best for: When the person you love has a BPD diagnosis and you need skills, not just sympathy.
Free, confidential 24/7 treatment referral and information service (1-800-662-4357). Best for: Finding treatment when substance use is part of the picture.
Moderated peer spaces for people in or recovering from these relationships, with crisis triage built in. Best for: Wanting to talk to people who recognise the pattern without explaining it from scratch.
Fit matters more than credentials alone — especially with trauma.
The largest US therapist directory, filterable by specialty, insurance, and location. Best for: Breadth of choice, if you already know roughly what you are looking for.
A directory filtered specifically for narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and C-PTSD experience, with verified listings. Best for: Not wanting to explain what coercive control is to your own therapist.
What to do when you are being told your memory is wrong.
Paste a message you received and get the tactics in it named — DARVO, guilt-shifting, moving goalposts — with plain-language explanation. It describes behaviour; it does not diagnose anyone. Best for: The specific experience of rereading a text and not trusting your own read of it.
A private, timestamped record for incidents, screenshots, and notes, exportable if you ever need it for a lawyer or a court. Best for: Documenting a pattern over time, when any single incident sounds small out of context.
State-by-state legal guidance, including what kinds of evidence courts actually consider. Best for: Understanding what documentation is worth before you need it.
This page is educational, not clinical. Nothing here diagnoses anyone. Only a clinician can diagnose, and you do not need a diagnosis to take what is happening to you seriously, to make a safety plan, or to leave.
Clinically reviewed by the Unmasked care team. This content was written and reviewed by a licensed nurse practitioner and Nicole, a registered nurse, both with direct experience supporting individuals affected by narcissistic and borderline relationship patterns. All content is trauma-informed and evidence-based. It is educational, not a clinical diagnosis.
Part of Unmasked — trauma-informed education on narcissistic (NPD) and borderline (BPD) relationship patterns. NPD · BPD · NPD vs BPD · Glossary · Tools · Pricing