Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

Am I being gaslit?

Hands writing short phrases on a notecard at a kitchen table — A calm moment to pause with — from Unmasked Care’s guide “Am I being gaslit”.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that makes you question your own memory, perception, and sanity. If you constantly second-guess what you saw or felt, apologize for things you're not sure you did, or feel “crazy” around one particular person, you may be experiencing it. The confusion isn't a flaw in you — it's the intended effect.

In plain terms — the points this guide will walk through:

You replay conversations trying to figure out if you're the crazy one.
They flatly deny things they said or did — even things you clearly remember.
You apologize constantly, often for things you're not sure were your fault.
You feel confused, foggy, or “not like yourself” around them.
They tell you you're “too sensitive,” “dramatic,” or “imagining things.”
You second-guess your memory so often you've started keeping mental notes — or screenshots.
They rewrite events so they're the victim and you're the aggressor.
Other people are recruited: “Even your sister thinks you're unstable.”

What gaslighting actually is

Gaslighting is the repeated denial of your reality until you stop trusting it. The word comes from a 1938 play in which a husband dims the gas lights, then insists his wife is imagining it. It's not an honest disagreement — it's a strategy that shifts power by making you the unreliable narrator of your own life.

Most gaslighting isn't dramatic. It's a slow accumulation of small denials and reversals that leave you foggy, anxious, and dependent on the other person to tell you what's true.

If you need a recording to prove to yourself what happened, someone has been editing your reality.

10 signs you're being gaslit

You replay conversations trying to figure out if you're the crazy one.
They flatly deny things they said or did — even things you clearly remember.
You apologize constantly, often for things you're not sure were your fault.
You feel confused, foggy, or “not like yourself” around them.
They tell you you're “too sensitive,” “dramatic,” or “imagining things.”
You second-guess your memory so often you've started keeping mental notes — or screenshots.
They rewrite events so they're the victim and you're the aggressor.
Other people are recruited: “Even your sister thinks you're unstable.”
You've stopped sharing your opinion because it never survives the conversation.
You feel like you can't do anything right, yet you can't point to why.

Common gaslighting phrases

“That never happened — you're making it up.”
“You're overreacting. It was a joke.”
“I never said that. You have a terrible memory.”
“You're crazy / paranoid / too sensitive.”
“Everyone agrees with me about you.”
“I only did that because of how you act.”

How to trust yourself again

Keep a private record. Note dates, exact words, and what you felt — a factual log cuts through the fog.
Check reality with one safe person. Isolation is what makes gaslighting work; an outside voice restores your footing.
Stop debating your reality. You don't have to win the argument about what happened — you were there.
Notice your body. Tight chest, dread, confusion — your nervous system often registers the truth before your mind does.
Talk to a trauma-informed therapist. Rebuilding trust in your own perception is exactly what they help with.

Key Takeaways

Hold these as orientation, not as a verdict on your relationship — and not as a diagnosis of anyone.

Point	Details
What gaslighting actually is	Gaslighting is the repeated denial of your reality until you stop trusting it.
10 signs you're being gaslit	You replay conversations trying to figure out if you're the crazy one.
Common gaslighting phrases	“That never happened — you're making it up.”
How to trust yourself again	Keep a private record.

What this guide is really asking you to notice

The non-obvious point is not a new technique — it is a shift in what counts as evidence. “That never happened — you're making it up.” That framing matters because people in these dynamics are often waiting for a clearer moment, a worse incident, or permission from the other person. None of those arrive on schedule. The line that usually lands hardest: “If you need a recording to prove to yourself what happened, someone has been editing your reality.” This is educational, not a diagnosis, and it is not a substitute for someone who can look at your specific situation.

Unmasked tools built for this situation

Guides name the pattern. These tools help you work with your own messages, notes, and next steps — without asking you to perform certainty you do not have yet.

Red-flags checklist — a private pattern check at /red-flags (not a diagnosis).
AI message decoder — paste a confusing text and get the tactics named at /decode.
Evidence file — a private, timestamped place for notes at /evidence-file (use a device they can't monitor).
Find a therapist — filter for narcissistic abuse and coercive-control experience at /find-a-therapist.

Useful sources and U.S. resources

These are stable organisational pages (not deep article links). URLs are written out in plain text because guide body copy does not render inline hyperlinks.

National Domestic Violence Hotline — thehotline.org — 1-800-799-7233 — 24/7 confidential support, safety planning, and local referrals in the US. (https://www.thehotline.org/)
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — 988lifeline.org — call or text 988 — 24/7 crisis support in the US. (https://988lifeline.org/)
SAMHSA — National Helpline — 1-800-662-4357 — Free, confidential treatment referral and information, 24/7. (https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline)
American Psychiatric Association — What are Personality Disorders? — Authoritative overview from a recognised health organisation. (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/personality-disorders)
MedlinePlus (US National Library of Medicine) — Personality Disorders — Plain-language medical reference with links to the underlying clinical literature. (https://medlineplus.gov/personalitydisorders.html)

Common questions

Is gaslighting always intentional?

Not always — some people distort reality out of their own defensiveness or denial. But intent doesn't change the harm. Whether it's calculated or automatic, the repeated erosion of your reality is damaging and worth taking seriously.

Can gaslighting happen in friendships or families, not just romantic relationships?

Yes. Gaslighting can come from a parent, sibling, friend, boss, or partner. Anywhere there's a power imbalance and a motive to control the story, it can occur.

How do I know it's gaslighting and not just a bad memory?

One-off memory differences are normal. Gaslighting is a pattern: your reality is denied repeatedly, you're made to feel unstable for questioning it, and you leave conversations more confused and self-doubting than when you started.

Related guides

All guides · Unmasked