Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

Shalom bayis — what it means

Literally 'peace in the home' — a genuine Jewish value of marital harmony. It is weaponized when one person is made solely responsible for keeping a 'peace' the other keeps breaking, so naming the abuse is reframed as the thing destroying the home.

What it looks like

"You're ruining our shalom bayis" — said after he rages, to make the calm your job and the conflict your fault.

Related terms

Eishes chayil
Tznius
Spiritual abuse
Avodah
Bashert
Bittul

All terms · Guides · Questions & answers · Unmasked

Shalom bayis — what it means

What it looks like

Related reading

Related terms