Will my partner find out I used this?

Not unless you tell them. Your reflections are private and kept to your account; nothing is sent by email by default; and you can delete your account in one click. We're built on the assumption you value your privacy.

Can I bring this to my therapist?

Yes — the report prints as a PDF, and the Companion lets you save incidents to a private evidence file you can hand a clinician. Many survivors say it's the artifact that finally moved a therapist past circling.

What if I'm wrong about them?

Good question to keep asking — and a sign of empathy, not narcissism. The reflection isn't a verdict on the person. It names patterns in behavior. A clinician makes the diagnosis; we just give you vocabulary.

Will this make things worse?

Naming what's happening tends to clarify rather than escalate. If you're in a high-risk situation (physical violence, threats with weapons, sexual coercion), please call 1-800-799-7233 before you do anything else. Safety plan first; reflection second.

The education library and the survivor community are free, forever. The deeper, personalized tools (your AI reflection, the Companion, the evidence file) are part of a paid plan. Safety planning and crisis resources are always free.

If you're asking the question, you almost certainly aren't. NPD is defined in part by the absence of that question. Asking is empathy in action.

What is the gray rock method?

Gray rock means becoming as boring and unreactive as a gray rock so a manipulative person loses interest in targeting you. You keep replies brief, neutral, and free of emotion or personal detail — because your reactions and the drama are what they feed on. It's a coping tool for situations you can't yet leave, like co-parenting, not a way to repair the relationship.

How to do it

Keep answers short and factual: 'Okay.' 'I'll check.' 'No thank you.'
Share nothing personal that can be used later.
Don't react to bait — flat and unbothered is the goal.
Use it deliberately and temporarily, not as a way of life.

When it fits — and when it doesn't

Gray rock is useful for low- or no-choice contact (a co-parent, a coworker). It is not a substitute for safety. If someone escalates when they lose control, prioritize a safety plan over any technique.

What is the gray rock method?

How to do it

When it fits — and when it doesn't

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